Local sports radio what would we do without it? The amusement that it brings usually over rules the little tidbits of information that it brings. The biggest part of that amusement is not the fact that a highly “respected” radio host is breaking news that is about 2 days late or another radio personality breaking news that the UT plane is off to, ah I don’t know, Chicago to pick up our new head football coach. I find the most amusing part to be the local radio show caller! Through my many wasted lunch hours spent listening to local sports radio I have been able to divide the normal local sports caller into four major categories. I will break down these four major categories in the following paragraphs.
Category 1 – The future ESPN analyst: The callers that go under this category truly believe that they are just one call away from becoming the next ESPN college football analyst. Their calls consist of precise breakdowns of the offense and defensive schemes of the previous games. They can effortlessly go from breaking down the previous game to analyzing what the team should work on to prepare for the next matchup. These callers just hope that some ESPN talent scout is listening to their phone call and will offer them the chance that they deserve to be an analyst for ESPN! These callers also don’t realize that they are a caller they believe in their heart of hearts that they are no different than a guest that the radio show would schedule to be on the show. These callers truly believe they make the show better.
Category 2 – Idol Worshipers: These callers simply worship the host(s) of the radio show in which they are calling in. The spend either the first 5 minutes or the last 5 minutes of their pointless phone call to tell the host(s) how much they appreciate everything they do and how they do such a good job and how no one in the area does a better job! Vomit! These callers are the ones that sit at home all day with their cats watching Dr. Oz in between their favorite radio shows!
Category 3 – Call In Personas These callers feel the need to create personas for themselves when calling in. For example the cattlemans! Most of the time these personas are only interesting in sparking a debate with the radio show hosts. Example number 2: I heard a caller Monday evening call in to a Knoxville radio show and say at this time he would rather have Stephen Garcia than Tyler Bray as a starting QB. I hope for the caller’s sake that he just wanted to start an argument because if he truly believes that Garcia > Bray then he may need mental help.
Category 4 – The Non-Technical Savvy: I find this group to be the most frustrating to be honest with you. This group is the people that don’t understand the 5 second delay. So what happens is they do not turn their radio volume down so the following happens:
1. They hear the radio host on their phone saying that they are going to take their call.
2. They say hello on the phone at the same time they hear the radio host through the radio broadcast that they are taking their call.
3. Confusion sets in
4. Radio host has to inform the caller that they need to turn down the volume on the radio
5. Caller still in state of confusion begins to panic that call has been dropped
6. In panic state they start to either say hello repeatedly or the say the host’s name repeatedly
7. Radio host starts to get annoyed
8. Caller turns down radio volume and begins to speak
9. Time for commercial break caller gets cut short
10. 5 minutes of my life wasted
The sad thing is although some callers I find extremely annoying I still find myself listening. I am not sure what category that puts me in but I am sure it is not a good one! Please feel free to leave comments on what you find humorous or annoying about local sports radio and their callers. I will hang up and listen!